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Gratitude #8

Having depression makes you very anti-social (at least in my case). Its hard sometimes to force myself to get out of my bed let alone deal with people which can become very lonely. Its hard for people to want to maintain friendships with someone who could be mistaken for being "flaky". That's one of the reasons i love my family.

They might not understand the feelings of depression and anxiety that i go through but they are accommodating of it when its at its worst.

My little sister for example. Although she stays over 350 miles away, i know that i can contact her when I'm feeling really bad and even though she cant make it better (to be fair, no one can, though she gives it a good try) she'll at least listen to me and try to calm me down if i start to properly melt down. One one occasion she even kept Agent M busy on the phone while i sobbed in the bathroom calming down from a very bad panic attack. I'm beyond grateful for that as its scary for adults to witness a panic attack ... i cant imagine how terrifying it is for an 8 year old.

I know that even when we're at odds with each other (the joys of being a sibling), we always have the other ones back. I guess that is one of the reasons i feel bad that Agent M is an only child. He wont get to experience the love and patience that having a sibling gives you. She's my wee cheerleader on my shoulder and I'm hers.

I'm so unbelievably proud of my 'Midge' and i couldn't imagine not having her in my life