I have to admit, some decisions that I made have had a deeper negative impact on my life and however much I wouldn't change them (cause then I wouldn't be where I am today) ... I wonder, if I could talk to my younger self, What advice would I give? What heads up would I appreciate knowing what I know now.
The people at school that you lived and breathed for, will be nothing more than a Facebook acquaintance - Remember all those times you pushed your own wishes and feelings to the side to accommodate your "Friends"? Well I hate to be blunt but you wasted years on what turned out to be nasty bitches who more than happily back stabbed you over a boy. And that boy? You know the one that you thought was the best thing since sliced bread? Well he turned out to be a cheating d*ck now didn't he. Life at school is one single part of a giant painting ... You wasted too many tears on blips in the radar.
Your gut instinct will never steer you wrong - You know that saying if it seems to good to be true then it probably is? You ignored that little voice in your head that told you something wasn't right way to often. You were lucky that nothing horrendous happened but there were a few close calls now weren't there? Silly girl! Never disregard your own safety just to follow the crowd.
Believe in yourself! - For too long you seemed to place your self worth in what other people said or thought of you. Why? The people who matter the most in life should never judge you and the people who do judge you should matter the least. You're so much stronger than you realise girl! Hold your head high and be proud that you will make it. You're a survivor! *Insert Beyonce song here* :)
Never stay together for the kids - I'm not going to tell you that you wasted 8 years of your life cause you got a beautiful little boy out of it all, but the first time you broke up with him, was the time it should have stayed finished. You and M would have been fine on your own from the get go and you wouldn't have had to deal with such a toxic relationship. You were basically playing mum and dad anyway. Imagine if M hadn't seen such misery at such a young age? ... Imagine if you didn't have to be broken down in order to build yourself back up piece by piece? When you hit your limit you done a great job picking up the pieces and taking care of M. So I know now you could do it! Having a child is no reason to stay in such a horrific relationship.
Long life isn't a guarantee for anyone - When you are younger, you just expect that you will grow up, grow old and pass away. Its the way everyone assumes that it will go but growing old is a luxury that not everyone get to indulge in. Life can end so bloody quick and when it does you want to be happy in the knowledge that you've done everything you wanted to. Don't let anyone be the rain on your parade ... Its your life to live ... do what makes you happy!
