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Words can really hurt

I'm not sure how to start this post.

I've been playing it over and over in my head for the last couple of days after reading some really hurtful comments targeted at a fellow blogger.

Without naming names, someone from a pro breastfeeding group decided to attack him in a misinformed and kinda bizarre post. He was accused of promoting bottle feeding to make a sponsor happy ... except that he wasn't promoting anything and the company in question wasn't even associated with him via sponsorship or anything else.

What followed was a huge backlash between his fans and the pro-breast crowed. Reading through the comments i was feeling hurt on behalf of both sides and felt like a serious amount of compassion was lacking from some.

I didn't breastfeed.

It wasn't for lack of trying. In fact Agent M went the first two days of his little life without actually having a feed as i couldn't for love nor money get him to latch on and i wasn't allowed a bottle for him because "breast is best for baby" and that i would "confuse him when he did latch on". So tired and alone i struggled to get an unhappy, hungry baby to latch onto my very VERY painful boobs to no avail. I got no help and in the end after signing myself out AMA, i went home with my mum who introduced me to the wonders that were baby formula.

Now, i hear a lot of people all the time talk about how bottle feeding is the "easy" option. Personally for me, it wasn't easy. 

The guilt that went through me lasted for months. I felt i failed my child cause i couldn't give him "the best start", i felt like i was going to be setting him back and having the midwife make me feel like an abuser for "giving up" definitely didn't help. But here is the thing ... Surely me not feeding him at all would be worse? Would i not have been a really shitty mum for starving him? I would have thought so.


I haven't seen any difference between him and his breastfed counterparts. I guarantee if you lined 10 kids up of the same ages you couldn't tell who was breast fed and who was given formula ... to think that it makes a noticeable difference is inane as every kid is different and unique in their own right, regardless of how they were fed.

Its been a well documented campaign that "breast is best" but surly that is a personal choice, and more so, surely fed is best?

I know mums that have started with breast and moved to bottle, i know some who have used both. I know mums that decided to stick with breast exclusively and some that decided bottle worked for them ... and whichever decision they choose, it has been their own business.

I think that as a mum you have to work out whats best for you as well as baby. If you can breastfeed then brilliant, go for it and you should be allowed to do so in any cafe or public area that is necessary. Its a natural thing that should be embraced. If bottle feeding is the way you go then brilliant, go for it and you should be allowed to do so without being made to feel like your doing your baby an injustice or are somehow not as good a parent.

Sometimes people with the best intentions can really hurt people. 

A bit of a personal moment here but 12 years ago tomorrow i experienced my first miscarriage.
It was a horrible time that i would happily forget but if forever embedded in my memories. I remember walking out of the Dr's room after being told i had miscarried my first ever pregnancy to be greeted with a sign in the waiting room declaring "You have what it takes to make a healthy baby" - an advert for breastfeeding.

I completely lost my mind. 

Like i had been holding onto it till i could go home and break down but this poster just destroyed me ... and my reaction clearly left an impression as when i went back a couple of days later it was removed.

The point is words hurt ... and people calling parents lazy for choosing to bottle feed is incredibly hurtful. especially like in this situation where the bloggers partner had to give up breastfeeding due to medical reasons. That wasn't her fault and DEFINITELY wasn't "lazy" of her, yet people felt it was OK to attack her and other mothers in similar situations.


Please no matter what method you use to feed your babies, remember that feeding them is best, breast or bottle, its your call and don't let anyone from either camp make you feel bad for being the best parent you can be!!


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And then the fun began...

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Week 20 - Weigh In

I'm so far behind with my weight loss post. I completely forgot to get my week 16 update on here which is kinda ironic as i have since put weight on again ... bummer!

When i weighed myself on the 4th which was week 16 - and was seriously impressed that i had reached my 2 stone mark. I had been working really hard in the run up to my sisters wedding and i was chuffed to bits that i managed to lose 2 stones.

Unfortunately i took to celebrating a little too much and after the wedding, in the run up to the back to school madness we ended up getting take out (pizza - the cardinal syn) 3 times in one week. I stopped counting syns under the cop out of i'll get back on track tomorrow ... And unfortunately "tomorrow" literally came yesterday ... 9lbs too late :(

I weighed myself this morning and got a little shock. I was expecting to have put weight on but seeing it actually shocked me ... and that it was 9lb heavier was a little upsetting too.

I'm really not happy with myself and i need to get my arse in gear. I've been too loosey goosey with my eating and its gotta stop. I've been back to counting the syns and watching what I've been eating ... Adding salad to everything and trying hard to get back off the bread.

Hopefully by week 24, i'll be headed the right way again. I'm going to start working out again too (I've kinda missed that), and start walking more. Little steps that i stopped and DEFINITELY need to start again.

I'm Loving - August

This month started out really busy and if I’m honest kinda stressful. I had my sister’s wedding coming up which I was excited about but at the same time was slightly anxious about and Agent M needed the last of his back to school supplies. I left it off till the last minute almost as he was going through a growth spurt and sure enough the school shoes I bought him and he wore ONCE are now too tight (when fitting perfectly 2 weeks before he started school). Sods law really isn’t it :(


Anyway, now he’s settled back at school I’ve had the chance to chill out a bit and enjoy some me time.

This month I’m loving …

Gilmore Girls - I used to watch this show YEARS AGO and often on repeat. When I was pregnant I used to hope that Agent M and I would have a relationship like Lorelai and Rory. In hindsight that’s not really the ideal as I think parent first and friend second is the best way to raise kids but at the time in my naiveté it looked ideal.

Now that the show is getting aired out again I the form of a 4-part series, the original has been released on Netflix and oh how I’ve missed the residents of Stars Hollow. The new series is out on the 25th of November, which has been marked in my diary. And leads me onto my second love of the month …



Happy Planner - I upgraded over the summer from my Filofax to a Happy Planner by the company ‘me and my big ideas’. I’ve been designing stickers recently for it along with buying some on Etsy. I have to admit I was a little sceptical and thought I would be back on my Filofax in no time, writing off the expensive price tag to a lesson learnt, but instead I’m still loving my planner and being able to decorate it how I like makes it feel more personalised.

Agent D is convinced I’ve wasted my money but it makes me happy. I think you have to be a planner addict to really get the pure joy that I feel when I use it  … no matter how crazy that sounds to most.


Disney Tsum Tsum’s - This is my new addiction and it’s taken hold of me really intensely. Wither it’s the little soft plushies or the plastic mini figures (Agent D has been feeding the addiction slowly) or the irritation of being only 32 stickers off of finishing my album, a childhood dream I shall finally realise. I’m not to bothered about the doubles though as I have been re-purposing them as diary stickers. Win Win.




Photography - I’ve been getting snap happy a lot more recently and have been enjoying making memories with my boys and my family. I’ve been working on a post about cameras as I love it so much … Keep an eye out early September *wink wink*.

Anyway, taking pictures is a great way to remember special days as well as the everyday ins and out of life. I’m hoping to get back into photography and take part in the FMS photo challenges again … I’ve missed doing them.


Make it Monday #27

Hey lovely's ... Welcome to my linky!

Its been a slow week here in the crafty household. Mainly as I've spent most of it in my room with the curtains closed and often with sunglasses on. I've had a massive headache for over a week and boy does it suck. Have been looking through my WIP's (work in progress's) and I've got so many that I've decided to try and get as many of them finished before the new year. I made a good start yesterday i feel :)

Anyways, the linky is live for all you creative people out there to showcase your favourite craft or recipe posts.


If you made it, We'd like to see it :)

I've also set up a Make it Monday board on pinterest so I'll be adding your posts there for everyone to share.

Once it becomes a bit more established, i will start to have a featured make each week but since its early days i thought i would take it one step at a time.

The rules are simple ...
  • Link up maximum TWO posts - They can be old or new. Please don't just link up your blog home page.
  • Comment on the 'Host' post and at least 2 others, though more if you have the time. Its all about sharing the love here.
  • When commenting use the tag #MIMLinky so that they know where you found them.
  • Add the "Make it Mondays" badge to your linked post so that others can find the linky and join in. 
Feel free to tweet your post(s) along with the hashtag #MIMlinky and mention @justacraftymama so i can retweet for you.

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My Sunday Photo - 28/8/16

This last week has been horrible. I've had a headache all week and its not showing any signs of letting up. So today, rather than the baking i had planner, I'm sitting in my darkened room knitting.
Its nice to just continue one of my WIP's though. I'm along way off but at least I'm trying to get out of my crafting slump ... One square at a time.

Agent D has offered to make dinner tonight too which I'm grateful for. I just wanna sit in this room, in quiet and hope that google is just an alarmist (cause when googling my symptoms its coming up with scary answers :(

My Crafting Slump

I’ve been in a big of a crafting slump recently.

I have all these ideas going through my head and all these projects I want to so, so I start them and then something will happen, life might get in the way and it will sit unfinished for months (sometimes years) just begging to be completed.

I think its my own fault though as I always have these big projects in mind. Take this morning for example … I sat on my bed with my measuring tape and worked out dimensions needed and a design for a huge Disney quilt that I want to make. I’ve not even finished my first quilt (or my second for that matter) and I’m already thinking on my third one! And that’s not even including the knitted one I'm in the process off.

I found a beautiful cross stitch pattern that want to try, but I have like 3 other cross stitch kits that are in some stage of completion. One is almost half way. One has just an afternoons worth of stitching done and the other, a massive Romeo and Juliet design is about an eighth of the way through as its on even-weave and is so intricate.

I have a cushion on the go, some paintings half finished, 2 scrap books half done … Honestly the list could be endless.

So I’ve decided that before I start any big project, I have to finish at least one previous one first. So for example before I start the Disney Quilt, I have to finish the Halloween one. Before I start the new cross stitch kit, I have to get one of the others finished first.

I want to complete my projects rather than have a box full of WIP’s collecting dust.

I’m hoping that by new year I will have at least 5 of my old projects done and competed the new ones rather than just adding to my old pile of ‘to-do’s’.

Summer Snaps

Now that the Scottish kids are back at school, I've been thinking a lot about what we have been getting up to over the summer.

The summer holidays are always a perfect chance to catch up with family. There is no rushing about for school and everyone is full of energy ready to burn off through paying.


The sun doesn't set till later on in the evening so there is more time to enjoy the fresh air. Taking the dog for a walk before bed almost guarantees a good night sleep for everyone and even when the sun starts to set at 9/10 at night, the sky stays beautiful shades of blue. Everything about summer is picturesque. 


More importantly the Summer gives us all a chance just to chill out. Sitting in the garden relaxing is good for the soul. Enjoying the sunshine, the beautiful colours in the flowers and just enjoying being with each other.


Summer is a beautiful, colourful time of year, when all the flowers are blooming and the grass and trees are gorgeous shades of green. 


Its not hard to see why this is the Agent's favourite time of the year and for a snap happy mama, it provides a great chance to capture memories.


*Disclaimer -This post was sponsored by Ocean Loans and was compensated for. More information on my disclosure policy can be found here.


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My Random Musings

Make it Monday #26

Hey lovely's ... Welcome to my linky!

We've had our first half week back at school and Agent M is still loving going. I'm quite lucky when i talk to other mums about how they struggle to get their little ones out the door and Agent M is keen to go in early :) Long may that continue! Its been a slow crafting week here. I've been waiting for supplies to be delivered so i can finish my Disney Craft Swap for August. I really hope they come today as the send off deadline is the 25th ... Eeeek!!!

Anyways, the linky is live for all you creative people out there to showcase your favourite craft or recipe posts.


If you made it, We'd like to see it :)

I've also set up a Make it Monday board on pinterest so I'll be adding your posts there for everyone to share.

Once it becomes a bit more established, i will start to have a featured make each week but since its early days i thought i would take it one step at a time.

The rules are simple ...
  • Link up maximum TWO posts - They can be old or new. Please don't just link up your blog home page.
  • Comment on the 'Host' post and at least 2 others, though more if you have the time. Its all about sharing the love here.
  • When commenting use the tag #MIMLinky so that they know where you found them.
  • Add the "Make it Mondays" badge to your linked post so that others can find the linky and join in. 
Feel free to tweet your post(s) along with the hashtag #MIMlinky and mention @justacraftymama so i can retweet for you.

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Body image and parenting

I've made a huge mistake.

While sorting through some of my photos and adding them into albums, I've realised that i have ruined my first 5 or so years of motherhood and I'm never going to get that back ... All because i felt i was too fat.

While looking through the images of Agent M's early years i noticed something that was really upsetting. 

I'm not visually there. 

Yes i remember his first Christmas and i can replay in my head his first birthday almost a decade later but when i look at these photographs ... I'm absent from every one of them. 

I have 6 physical photographs of my baby and I ... And its all my fault.

If someone would point a camera at me i would lose my ever loving mind. I didn't want my photo taken ... purely because i detested how i looked. I let my lack of self confidence destroy my self worth and as a result, I'm not able to look back at special memories.

I remember taking pictures of my bump when M was just this magical foot or hand protruding from my belly and i remember deleting them straight away cause i was repulsed by how i looked. The stretchmarks had the appearance that i was mauled by a bear and my stomach was too fat - Seriously! ... I had a whole new human life growing inside me, if that isn't a reason to have a big tummy then nothing is. 

After having him there are only a few images of us together, as the idea of capturing my huge boobs and massive swollen body made me feel physically sick. I was repulsed by how i looked and there was no way in hell i wanted to be reminded of it.

Such a huge mistake!

I've been struggling with my self esteem for most of my life. I was bullied throughout primary school and for my first year in secondary school because of how i looked. I hit puberty like a brick wall and being one of the first in my class to get hips and boobs made me stand out like a sore thumb. I have heard friends and family make nasty comments about my weight and over the years it has really destroyed my opinion of myself.

Not only that, I'm terrified that its rubbing off on Agent M but in a reverse way. Recently he has been saying things to me and doing things that have set off alarm bells in my head. 

He's a slim built wee boy. Don't get me wrong, there are nights where he has 2 servings of dinner followed by fruit and then snacks an hour later ... Its hard to fill him sometimes (which after the fussy phase is a huge relief) but he never puts on weight. I think this is cause he's always on the go. Be it cycling, running around with friends or doing laps in the pool, he rarely sits still and therefor burns off everything he eats ... However he's been looking at himself more in the mirror and comparing himself to the kids in his class or his swimming lessons and thinks hes "too skinny". 

He's starting to dissect how he looks and as a mummy I'm devastating cause i think its my fault. He has said to me that he's embarrassed by how he looks and its horrible to think that someone so young and so perfect could begin to hate himself because of his appearance.

Although i have always tried to protect him from my insane thoughts ... I don't talk about my trying to lose weight as a quest to get skinny, He knows i want to get healthy. I don't compare myself to others out loud and i try not to use the word 'fat' in front of him, but i cant help but feel like my body image issues have rubbed off a little on him.

For too long i have worried about how i looked and i let that cloud how i felt. I should have been enjoying one of the most beautiful experiences a woman can go though, yet i let the spotty skin and swollen feet spoil my memories. Rather than embracing my big bump for the life it held, i hid it away like a dirty little secret. 

I've ruined things for myself because i gave a shit what others thought about me. 

One day i wont be here, and Agent M wont be able to look back at us on his first day at nursery as although i was there physically, there is not visual representation for him to see. He wont ever be able to see my face at his first birthday party and he wont know about the days out we took as i was too embarrassed to be in any shots and that breaks my heart.

I'll never get that opportunity back.

Its hard not to hate yourself these days when the media portrays the "ideal" as being something very few of us can attain and yes i know that i didn't help myself with the comfort eating but I'm starting to force change. 

I have to ... For my Son!

I'm not going to let my own body issues control my life anymore. I'm not going to look at a celebrity and think "i wish i looked like that" cause i cant ever look like that. She is her and i am me. Hating my body has robbed me of memories with my son and I'm determined not to let it happen again.

I wont get moments like that back and i will regret that till the day i die.

But from now on I'm going to embrace myself more, Love myself a little more and show my boy that we are all beautiful and capture happy memories together.


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My Random Musings
Mummascribbles

Back to School lunch ideas

Its almost the end of the Summer and with that comes the back to school hustle and bustle ... But fear not lovelies, for Pinterest has the answer.

Yes, many of their ideas require a masters in the kitchen with a bachelors degree in Art and Design but through the showing off, there are some gems that us regular mums and dads can make to give the impression that we have it together, while feeding the kiddies a nutritious meal ... Its a win win really isn't it :)




Clicking on the image will take you to the original website and from there you will find a whole host of ideas for even the fussiest eaters out there.

Enjoy :)

Make it Monday #25

Hey lovely's ... Welcome to my linky!

Its been a mad week here in the crafty household. My baby sister has gone from Miss to Mrs and of course i ended up blubbering myself silly. I couldn't help it though, i was a very proud big sister (and she looked so beautiful it made my eyes water lol).

We've also been trying to get everything ready for going back to school next week. Its been a really quick summer and I'm gonna miss all the extra time I've had with Agent M but at the same time it will be nice to get some order back to the house.

Anyways, the linky is live for all you creative people out there to showcase your favourite craft or recipe posts.


If you made it, We'd like to see it :)

I've also set up a Make it Monday board on pinterest so I'll be adding your posts there for everyone to share.

Once it becomes a bit more established, i will start to have a featured make each week but since its early days i thought i would take it one step at a time.

The rules are simple ...
  • Link up maximum TWO posts - They can be old or new. Please don't just link up your blog home page.
  • Comment on the 'Host' post and at least 2 others, though more if you have the time. Its all about sharing the love here.
  • When commenting use the tag #MIMLinky so that they know where you found them.
  • Add the "Make it Mondays" badge to your linked post so that others can find the linky and join in. 
Feel free to tweet your post(s) along with the hashtag #MIMlinky and mention @justacraftymama so i can retweet for you.

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My Sunday Photo - 14/8/16

Although its been a rainy day, its been warm and since we have Agent D with us, its the perfect opportunity to go for a long walk in the park ... And the Agents to go hunting for Pokemon.


Personally i don't really get the whole Pokemon Go thing ... but then to be fair, i haven't really played it,

However i am enjoying how the Agents are getting on and bonding over finding these things and i'm getting to enjoy the scenery while they throw balls at funky monsters. You can tell the seasons are starting to change too with the leaves starting to turn and fall.

I'm looking forward to the future walks and the crunching leaves soon.


Planner - Money Tracker Stickers

As you all know i am a bit of a planner fan.

I always have been.

I was the strange kid at school that used to get really excited over her homework diary and when i bought my first Filofax many moons ago, i became a full fledged planner addict.

Recently however i have discovered Happy Planners and since buying one, I've not looked back.

There are many ways to customise your planners and although there are some great stores on Etsy where you can buy them, or many freebies on Pinterest, Sometimes its hard to find ones that fit your exact need.

That's why I've decided to make my own and since many of you out there are on the same boat, i decided to share with you all.

This set i created to track my weekly income and expenses ... along with some matching "Bill Due" stickers you can have a colourful way to track the pennies.


They are designed for the Happy Planner so I'm not 100% sure they will fit in an Erin Condren planner however there is no rule to say you cant try :)

The file is saved as a PDF and should be printed on A4 Sticker paper ... Though you can always print it on regular A4 paper and stick them on your page with glue.

To download click HERE or on the image below
**Colour may vary slightly as its dependent on your monitor/screen settings

Conditions of Use - 

  • Please DO NOT redistribute this printable as your own work or for commercial use. It is to be used for PERSONAL USE ONLY!
  • If you wish to share these printable with friends, please give them the LINK BACK TO MY BLOG rather than sharing the downloaded file.
  • This printable was designed by myself and is owned by me.
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My Random Musings

Make it Monday #23

Hey lovely's ... Welcome to my linky!

Happy first of August lovelies ... We're now rounding out the end of Summer here in Scotland as the kids go back to school on the 17th. It will be nice to get my house back into some form of routine but i will miss Agent M when hes gone. I'll need to work out some lovely activities and makes to finish off the summer in style.

Anyways, the linky is live for all you creative people out there to showcase your favourite craft or recipe posts.


If you made it, We'd like to see it :)

I've also set up a Make it Monday board on pinterest so I'll be adding your posts there for everyone to share.

Once it becomes a bit more established, i will start to have a featured make each week but since its early days i thought i would take it one step at a time.

The rules are simple ...
  • Link up maximum TWO posts - They can be old or new. Please don't just link up your blog home page.
  • Comment on the 'Host' post and at least 2 others, though more if you have the time. Its all about sharing the love here.
  • When commenting use the tag #MIMLinky so that they know where you found them.
  • Add the "Make it Mondays" badge to your linked post so that others can find the linky and join in. 
Feel free to tweet your post(s) along with the hashtag #MIMlinky and mention @justacraftymama so i can retweet for you.

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